Responding to Ambivalence – Guiding Peers Toward Clarity

Ambivalence is a natural part of change—peers often feel torn between wanting to make a change and feeling hesitant. In Motivational Interviewing (MI), how we respond to ambivalence can determine whether a peer feels supported or pressured.

Instead of pushing for immediate action, MI helps peers explore their mixed feelings in a way that fosters self-discovery and confidence in their ability to decide.

💡 Key Insight: Ambivalence means that a peer is engaged in the change process, even if they’re not ready to act yet. The goal of MI is to help them resolve their ambivalence at their own pace.

🔹 How to Respond to Ambivalence in Peer Support
✔ Reflect Both Sides – Acknowledge their mixed feelings without judgment.
✔ Use Open-Ended Questions – Encourage exploration without pushing an agenda.
✔ Help the Peer Weigh Pros & Cons – Let them articulate their reasons for change.
✔ Reinforce Change Talk – Highlight statements that show motivation.

💡 Pro Tip: If a peer is struggling with a decision, avoid offering solutions—help them clarify their own reasons for change instead.

🔹 Examples of Effective Responses to Ambivalence
✔ Reflection: “It sounds like part of you really wants to change, but another part feels unsure about how to start.”
✔ Exploring Pros & Cons: “What are some things you like about how things are now? What concerns you about staying the same?”
✔ Reinforcing Change Talk: “You mentioned that you’d like to be healthier. What would that look like for you?”
✔ Encouraging Self-Discovery: “If nothing changed, how do you think you’d feel in six months?”

💡 Pro Tip: Peers are more likely to commit to change when they hear themselves voice their own reasons for wanting it.

🔹 Avoiding the Righting Reflex
It’s tempting to jump in and “fix” a peer’s problem, but this can backfire by increasing resistance. MI encourages guiding, not directing.

✔ Don’t Say: “You need to stop drinking if you want to stay healthy.”
✔ Instead Say: “You’ve mentioned wanting to be healthier—what does that mean to you?”

✔ Don’t Say: “You just have to stay strong and push through.”
✔ Instead Say: “What’s helped you get through tough times before?”

💡 Pro Tip: The righting reflex comes from a good place—we want to help. But lasting change happens when the peer takes ownership of their decisions.

🔹 Key Takeaways
✔ Ambivalence is a normal step in the change process, not a sign of failure.
✔ The best way to support a peer is to help them explore their own reasons for change.
✔ The righting reflex should be avoided—instead, guide the peer toward self-reflection.
✔ Encouraging self-discovery builds confidence in their ability to make decisions.

📌 Next Step: Take the Knowledge Check for this Topic, then move on to the next lesson!